Thursday, February 3, 2011

Dancing with the Stars

DWTS, a rip off of a British reality TV show, airs on ABC. Semi-celebrities and professional dancers compete to win a second 15 minutes of fame. The show has somehow ran for 11 seasons and will be premiering its 12th season in spring 2011.


Just The Facts

  1. Although show claims contestants have no previous professional dance experience, winners have included a olympic figure skater (Kristi Yamaguchi), a n actress most famous for her role in a movie based on dancing (Jennifer Gray) and a professional DANCER (Nicole Scherzinger)
  2. The biggest rumored name for the upcoming season is, the ever classy, Lindsey Lohan, the shows producers have even suggested hosting the show from inside her rehab facility as it is unlikely she will be able to stay sober for the exasperating 12 week filming.
  3. The show has spawned a spin-off called Skating with the Stars, which is yet another rip off of a British show. (Apparently Britain is america's tv testing labratory)

Middle America Rejoice

The only people who watch "Dancing with the Stars" are 13 year old girls, who have no better role models than strippers and reality stars who whore themselves out for every mention/dollar, and obese women in middle America who dream of one day being skinny and dancing with flamboyant men in tight pants. This is the entire concept of DWTS, that one can fantasize about being someone skinny beautiful and famous. The dancing has nothing to do with the voting, just like politics has nothign to do with who has the best ideas, its all a giant popularity contest to blind the masses to the real trechery afoot, and by this I mean Ryan Seacrest's NWO.
The show has featured a slew of personalities who completely baffle common sense. Olympic, astronauts and politicians (and their kids?) as well as former b-list celebrities, reality show "stars," professional athletes and people that no one has ever heard of. For many former celebrities and reality stars hoping to never have to get a "real" job the only options of continuing their "careers" are DWTS, celebrity rehab or celebrity fit camp.
(Note: Bristol Palin's occupation is listed by DWTS as "Teenage Activist," their no joke here, just that let the statement fester and maybe you'll shoot your TV too.)

Predictions for future DWTS contestants:

-Maci from Teen Mom (because this in no way glamourizes teenage pregnancy)
-Bill Clinton
-Bruce Jenner
-Liza Minnelli
-Fred (the moronic YouTube kid)
-Brett Favre
-Paris Hilton
-Sara Paxton (poor girl needs to do something, had so much promise now she's doing lifetime movies)
-Nicole Kidman
-Sasha Baron Cohen
...finish the list with ever other person you can think of who is slightly famous and begs for more attention but doesn't deserve it.


You can find more ramblings by Steinmetz at STMTZ.com.
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Read more: http://www.cracked.com/funny-1782-dancing-with-stars/#ixzz1CwD6hjoB

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