Monday, February 28, 2011

Politically Correct Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen Doesn't care what you think, and unlike stars who base their careers on claiming they don't care what you think,(Cough) Gaga (end cough), society does not think this is proper behavior. Their are individuals who sole purpose is to spin negative behavior into something positive, they call their profession public relations, but that's just a less cool term for professional liars. And while I am sure Charlie Sheen's PR team is working double time or contemplating sepaku, I have decided to help matters by translating some of Sheen's best moments into political correct statements.
The man was in Ferris Bueller so that is like a free pass for life anyways...but not for Jennifer Gray.

What he said:
“I wish [Chuck Lorrie ]nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.”

Spin it right round...
"I wish [Chuck Lorrie] nothing but the best in his travels and I hope one day we wind up working together."

What he said:
“I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’

Spin it right round...
"I think that from an outside perspective the viewed is skewed. It really bothers me that people who don't know me, don't know my life, are constantly judging me. I understand that what they see differs from the reality of the situation and is their hard for them to process."

Sometimes the truth hurts
What he said:
“Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

Spin it right round...
"Obviously I was able to handle this in a calm collected manner and never felt the need to resort to violence, we were able to work out the issues and I am proud to say it was dealt with in a rational non-violent manner."
It's OK to be frightened, we all are...
What he said:
”I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.”

Spin it right round...
"I was able to overcome my problems through will power, my own personal will power. I understand that some others might need assistance but for me I was able to succeed on my own"

What he said:
"'Don’t be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”

Spin it right round...
"We are all beautiful and unique snowflakes, and I refuse to succumb the the industries lust of turning me into a mass produced nobody."

What he said:
“I don’t live in the middle anymore, thats where you get slaughtered, that’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen and I just…it’s just not an option.”

Spin it right round...
"I refuse to just blend in, I think everyone should, we are all special and unique and we need to find our inner confidence and not be afraid of what others might say about us."
Sheen got his start in the entertainment industry writing TV shows aimed at raising kid self esteem.

What he said:
“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t just perfect and just winning every second, and I’m not just perfect and bitching and just delivering the goods at every frickin’ turn.”

Spin it right round...
"I am happy with where I am in my life, I know that some people don't understand that and I accept that. I just always go out their and give it 110% and I am happy with the result, no apologies this is me."

If you actually look into what he is saying most of it actually rings out to, "I am living my life, my way and it is working for me so stop judging me and trying to change me because it isn't going to work," which is actually not a negative message at all. Makes you think, Charlie Sheen, Actor, Sex Addict, Philosopher?
With a hat like that, I'd listen to all the wisdom he had to share.


STMTZ

2 comments:

  1. Charlie Sheen is a chain-smoking jackass. Is he winning lung cancer yet?

    He's acting about 13 y.o.

    Actually MOST 13 YEAR OLDS ARE MORE MATURE THAN HE IS !

    Really he sounds like a whiner to me. Whiner with an attitude. Yawn

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well thanks for that John, I am happy I could provide a place in the universe for you to get that off your chest.

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