Explaining the two parties:
Conservatives only care about themselves and old people and for some unknown reason the unborn fetuses of democrats. Liberal's care about everyone because they live in a fantastical world where everyone can be happy if only we get rid of all the rich people, their plan to do this is of course to kill all the babies and old people, especially the old people. Conservatives are usually found riding john deer tractors down a 55mph road pissing off a bunch of liberals in Priuses (is their a plural for this word?) who are just trying to get to the farmers market before it closes because it is better for the environment.
If a conservative told a liberal that he enjoyed reading at Starbucks the only socially acceptable response by the liberal would be to say he hates those things (he most certainly does not).
Liberals believe that the government should be huge because people are incapable of taking care of themselves and need to be babied through life. They believe people need more rights as long as they are gay, a woman, a foreigner or in summation not a country music loving white man with a pickup truck.
Conservatives like guns because they use them for hunting and keeping different looking people away from their property. Liberals hate guns and think that the conservatives should be stripped of their weapons, however they have found it difficult to convince people to hand over their weapons with only flowers and dreams as incentive.
Conservatives believe the media is super liberal. Liberals think fox news is super conservative. USA today thinks you should read them because they have a more colorful format, suck in NYT.
|Liberals hate the economy and jobs. Conservatives hate the environment and puppies.|