"...But STMTZ the Superbowl was 2 days ago and no one cares about it anymore!"
That is true hypothetical critic, but I had some things I wanted to say and was too lazy to come up with a new idea. But thank you for you hypothetical concern! Sincerely STMTZ
So the Superbowl happened a couple of days ago, the Packers won, which only made me happy because it meant the Steelers lost and, even though I no longer live in Pennsylvania, I didn't have to hear Steeler fans go on and on and on and on and on and on with their moronic celebration.
|It's not plagiarism because I inadvertently cited their website.|
We get it your city is a horrible place to live so you have to excessively celebrate a group of men who probably are begging to get traded to a team somewhere that doesn't suck. But other then teaching us that the better team wins an incredibly boring game, the Superbowl was filled with other life lessons, here are some of those.
If you can throw a football good enough it's OK to rape women
(due to slander laws I am required to say "allegedly" or else I can be sued, so their I said it, just not it the politically correct word order)
No I am not going to proceed to make a joke out of this, because obviously the NFL, the Steelers and all of Sports media has already done that, and I prefer to be somewhat original.
In the real world sex crimes are considered the lowest of low. If any common middle class man were to be accused of rape he would instantly lose his job, and find it rather difficult to find another one, mainly because he would be IN PRISON. And word of the street is that being a sex criminal doesn't make you very popular in prison either. and IF you get out, you find getting a job is very difficult and that even finding a house because harder cause no one wants you to live in their neighborhood. Seriously, a rapist is less popular then a murder. But if you can throw a football you only have to sit out a couple games and can still go to the Superbowl. And what of course all the Steeler's female fans scream in unison "You can assault me anytime you want Ben." So yet again you can do whatever you want when you're famous and it's just a "mistake".
|Unless you're black, then you just get rich white person treatment.|
The only bad press is no press
Christina Aguilera (I could have saved myself 5 minutes by not trying to figure out how to spell her last name) screwed out one line in the National Anthem. I side with those who think it really wasn't that big of a deal, and would have just dropped it, but what happened to make me write this paragraph? Her songs are all over the radio, I have heard 4 separate songs multiple times in the past two days. Mind you Christina hasn't had a hit song in five years. But if you turn on any radio program or television program she is the talk of the town. Proving that all press is good press. And even though some gun touting teabaggers probably want her head for disrespecting America, this may just be the best screw up of her career and could possibly open the gates to a Britney-esque comeback. And yes that is a good thing!
111 million Americans watched the Superbowl, in case you aren't good with math, that's more than one out of every three people. That's also nearly as many people who voted in the last presidential election. The Superbowl is probably the only annual event in which Americans join together in secular non-partisan company. For a couple hours all the matters is football, advertisements, food and beer. So why did William (just like Kesha I reuse to spell peoples name's moronically) decide he should make a political message...
"In America we need to get things straight
Obama, let's get these kids educated
Create jobs so the country stays stimulated."