|I was able to find a picture of me procrastinating, that's how much I procrastinate.|
|I think this means I just popped my meme cherry.|
Most people who obsess with the end of the world spend a lot of time reading books and playing with computers. Both of these are useless in an end times scenario. Computers will be one of the first things that become obsolete once power-grids, ISP's and coffee shops cease to continue their activities. Plus even if networks were able to stay online, they would serve only communicative purposes and unless your plan is to wait till you die staring at a computer screen watching people get eaten in China, computers become pretty obsolete when your enemy is a reanimated corpse.
Luckily we live in a society plentiful in most of the things you'll need, however we also live in a society that protects those things. So you will want to work on some skills during your free time before you are being chased by some crazed lunatic, I hear that tends to make people panic and makes it harder for one to do even tasks they are use to doing. The first thing I plan to go and Google after I finish this piece, is how to hot wire a car. I'd like to be able to do it and be...
|I'd also like to be Nicolas Cage because he has had quite an interesting life.|
So we learned how to steal a car, now we could just keep stealing one car after another to avoid my next point, but what if the car breaks down and their aren't any other cars to steal near by? Learning at least the basics of engine mechanics might be a good thing to do before this all falls apart. Their aren't going to be oil change places, you're going to have to figure out how to change filters, tires, headlights and top off fluids. None of the things I mentioned are very complex but I am betting around 90% of you reading this couldn't do any of those things, on your own car, let alone a car you just stole.
|That's not what you want to be doing when someone is trying to eat you.|
So we've learned how to maintain our vehicle after we steal it, now where the hell are we going. The world is going to need to work off a different system, because people won't just be at the Day's Inn of Highway 4, they will be hold-up in the back woods, eating bear. Geo-caching and Orienteering are two hobbies enjoyed by yuppy families and old people, they also happen to be maybe the most useful hobby currently available for training for post societal society. Both are virtually the same concept, you are giving coordinates and you use a GPS for geo-caching (although you could use a map and compass) and a map and compass for orienteering. If you said well GPS won't work, than you're an idiot, but I will waste my precious time explaining GPS to you. GPS works via satellites, from my understand zombies do not have the technological know how to control and/or shut off satellites.
|Look at all our little artificial moons. Bill O' Reilly would be so confused.|
The last one I have listed is the ability to grow your own crops and maintain a safe water source. Even though these are the simplest items on the list my gut tells me that most of you are doomed if you were to need to fend for yourself in the wild. Why does my gut tell me that? Because I would also be totally screwed, which is why I plan to go buy a bunch of books on farming, irrigation, water purification, automotive maintenance and of course fermentation, because trust me alcohol will be the new currency when their is no internet porn to live for and girls aren't shaving or showering.
|Chicka Chicka Chicka Bee...Voted Best Voyeur Film 1994|