Friday, March 18, 2011

Things that should be tweets!

Am I the only one who misses Hilary Duff?

Is it irony that all my bills revolve around the ability to be a productive employee? Like I wouldn't need transportation if I didn't have a job, and I went to college to get a better job, but all the shit costs me money.

If I am ever homeless, I plan on robbing banks, I mean I either get money to live off of, or I go to jail and get housing and food...and sex...

I think I just listened to the same song (Houston Calls-The Oaks on Price Street) about 35 times on repeat, but I can't be sure...YouTube should track this stuff.

Yay! Cracker Jacks!

Why is that coew staring at me? WHY!!!!
No MORE CRACKER JACKS!!!!...nevermind found another pack...phewwwy!
Shouldn't I be writing well thought out articles about Miyosaki films or at the very least the little mermaid...nope cracker jacks and random thoughts is definitely an easier way to pad the blog with extra "content."

I saw this on the highway today...unfortunately I never had the thought "hey keep your camera on you in case the ghostbuster mobile drives by you on the highway." and I feel stupid for missing that opportunity.

 I finally got that stupid piece of corn stuck in my tooth...seriously it took me somewhere in the ballpark of 10 minutes...and a new found appreciation for the abuse my gums can endure.

All I feel like writing is lyrics...and I am aware of how annoying that truly is so I will resist...maybe...for now at least...yeah

The table keeps getting more and more covered in empty containers of junk food and I am starting to wonder if maybe I have spent too much time sitting in this chair eating garbage...but it's soooo good.

Spell check on phones has really blurred the line between drunk and sober txting, I am sure that has led to more confusion then most of us are willing to admit.
The opposite of that coew was an ostrich, because in cracker jack world that makes sense...
This post is working out a lot better then I first anticipated. I hope you feel the same. Man I could be a twitter fiend, if it weren't for that horse.

OMG the coew/ostrich per the directions which you can see in the coew picture above...this is amazing, where is Alexander Hamilton?

A typical pencil can write 45,000 words or draw a line 35 miles long! (says cracker jack prize not pictured...and now I am thinking this need to be tested) WATSON! get me my pencil!

I think I might try to eat 100 freeze pops in a day...half of me think this is too easy to be entertaining the other half of me thinks this might just be the last straw...

B! finds my wine bottle percussion section annoying, I find it soothing, and just down right awesome...oh course.

So I have this great idea, that involves excess amounts of bright lights and a hint of luck...Oh you thought I would just give up my genius on a whim...HA!

It was time for a new picture and I am far too lazy at this juncture to create original material.
.xxx is the new domain for porn...although I am still convinced that .cum would be more hysterical and thus altogether better. Coming soom filled with pictures of naked tigers!

I finally changed the song from Houston Calls to Billy Joel-Piano Man, I will not link you to this because I will not support your slothishness...

I nominate myself for 2011 sexiest man alive...if you disagree, well I am sorry that you have not experienced the sexy that is STMTZ (the person, not the site, although the site is sexy too!)

The urge to write lyrics is becoming stronger...but luckily my mind has been distracted with the concept of child prodigies...

I miss this car...I miss this period...I miss it all...I am crying...
 I think that is enough of the random thoughts...the emotions, the tears...we have gone too far...too fast...I am not your slut!


P.S.-I like when you use me....

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