Sunday, July 3, 2011

Half and Half

Today, July 3rd, is the middlemost day of the year, which means at noon 2011 is exactly half over and half yet-to-come. My first idea was to write an article regarding where exactly 2011 has taken us as a society, then I remembered that I don't pay attention to the news or bother with anything (TV shows, sports, Celebrities) in the current timeline and that my observations would be utterly moronic.

I can't tell you one band that released a CD this year, minus the unavoidable ones like Britney's "Femme Fatale" and Gaga's "Born This Way".  I can't tell you who, if anyone, has replaced The Kardashian's as the new undeserving celebrities. I can't elaborate on who exactly is running for president, or even what the big issues are.
I would endorse Ron Paul at this point but that seems counterproductive after my previous statement.
I can't tell you what Middle Eastern country is currently attempting to overthrow their government, or whether the US supports of opposes the citizens of this unknown land. I can't tell you if the US economy is about to collapse or is currently recovering. I would be pressed to even confidently give you my assessment of Obama's presidency. 

If you waded through that tangent on my lack of knowledge you have arrived at this destination, and are probably wondering where exactly this post is going. Well Mom, thanks for sticking with my rant and now I will rewarded you with a list of stuff I do know.



I can tell you with some confidence where the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have been since their wedding day (Yesterday Montreal), and can even with some accuracy describe their wedding. I can tell you Donald Trump is not running for President, and thanks to Mr. Trump that our President is an American born citizen. I can tell you that Casey Anthony is on trial and that the media has already sentenced her to a life of notoriety.
I can tell you O/Usama Bin Laden is dead, and the twitter inform me of this prior to CNN even breaking the news. 
I can tell you that New York State legalized gay marriage, making it one of five states to remove their heads from their rectums. In the world of sports I know the Packers won the Super Bowl, the Bruins The Cup and that LeBron James is a sour puss. 

I have not actively lived in 2011, choosing instead to watch old TV shows on NetFlix and read books that were written decades ago. Barring the few weeks in which I watched the Stanley Cup playoffs I have been all but removed from the goings on in the actual course of space time.
The last time I was relevant to humanity!
I know about the things I know because that's what has been shared on social media or what had been utterly unavoidable in suburban America. Their is something to be said for the amount of useless information a passive citizen can obtain whilst complete missing even incidental information on important topics.

So welcome to 2011 Part II, hopefully this half will be better, I say that not because the first half was particularly demands, for I wouldn't know anyways, but because better is always well...better.

It's nice that America just happened to have it's second greatest holiday, after thanksgiving of course, almost exactly in the middle of the year. And for that I thank our forefathers, and Britain for losing, cause seriously fuck you, and your monarchy.
...and the Chinese, for the fireworks!

2 comments:

  1. so you know nothing about anything. good thing your a blogger...

    ReplyDelete