Monday, January 31, 2011

We Did it!

So it's February (the only way I can remember to spell that correctly is to say feb-roo-ary) now, well not really their is still a quarter of a day left in January but according to my analytics most of you read my post during work hours meaning it's Tuesday as you're reading this. Anyways, we hit our January site hits goal!!! It came down to the last few hours but due to a marketing blitz over the weekend we were able to achieve our numbers!

This means we are growing according to plan and hopefully it will keep up, February is going to be a difficult month with only 28 days to hit an even higher goal, but with all your help we can do it. If you see or read something on the site PLEASE advertise for us by putting it on your FB or Tweeting about us. It's super easy Tweet and Like buttons are available on all the articles, comics, pictures EVERYTHING so if you enjoyed reading it please take the 3 seconds to click the button and advertise for us.

But back to business, first off GSB and BadDyno are unofficially retired, they may crop up from time to time but their will be no daily, weekly or any frequency of posting. If this upsets you, tell us and we will see what we can do. The reason these two have fallen by the wayside is to focus on the new strip that has been appearing over the last two weeks, "Hat and Gloves." Our full intention is to create a comic strip that will be published daily (on weekdays), for now it will be a 3 times a week segment on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. We hope this format will build up an audience for when we go to a 5/wk schedule. If you like Hat and Gloves follow them on twitter at FishComics, each time we publish a new comic you will be updated, nothing more, nothing less just a reminder to read the latest from Hat and Gloves.

Manic Monday is also a relic of the past, if we find something new or unseen which we feel should be seen by our audience we will post it. But we didn't want to leech off of other online hits any longer so we decided to do away with that concept. Throwback Thursday will be making a permanent return this week and I PROMISE to actually post B!'s video every week from this point forward.

Cracked! I will continue posting topics on Cracked each weekend. Hopefully we will see further relationships between STMTZ and Cracked which will result in more traffic for both parties. Articles posted on Cracked will also be posted on STMTZ. HOWEVER the version on Cracked will include some additional features so at the end of each article I will link to the Cracked page and you can find the "bonus features."

Anyways over the weekend we saw a lot of traffic from new places and sources, Welcome strangers! If you like what you see follow the blog on Twitter at STMTZ (you can just click the "follow me" link under the twitter feed on the right of your screen).

Thanks everyone for reading and sharing with your friends and family and hopefully we can continue to grow at our planned paced.


Lost in Transition

I am part of a generation lost in transition, hell we really aren't even a generation just a small (yet growing) group of kids born from 1986-1988, henceforth I will refer to us as Recession grads. It use to be that you would go to college and come out with a career, not always a bright shimmering career or even the one you thought you wanted, but a career. However for graduates of the past couple of years this has been anything but a reality. Having been forced out into a world not willing to except us we found difficulty in cementing our position in society, are we adults? Are we children? Some of us benefited from life altering events (pregnancy, getting a career, joining the military) that forced them to grow up and become adults in every sense of the word. Many of us though were left in behind staring at the ceilings of our childhood rooms (or rooms resembling them anime calendars, piles of cloths and stuff animals included) to wonder what our role was in the “real” world.

Pop Music

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Total Transformation Program

Tired of your child thinking for themselves?
Tired of constantly having to be a parent?
Tired of your child acting like a kid?
Desperate for a solution to your child's behavior problems?
Try Brainwashing!!!

Their use to be a time when parents raised their children, and when they hit a wall they went to relatives and friends to gather advice. But now you can bypass all of those awkward conversations and admitting that you may not be perfect by simply purchasing a kit that will brainwash you kid into being subservient to your demands.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Baby Names

A person's name is the most important thing they are given in life. While statistically it may not determine their chances of success (freakonomics) it is still a huge factor in how one perceives themselves and is perceived by the world. Naming your daughter Destiny or Candy may not guarantee she will enter the adult entertainment industry, but it sure is going to make landing an interview at a highly reputable law firm just a tad bit harder.

Not all names are created equal
Some people might like to pretend that a person's name doesn't stereotype that person for life, but these people are full of shit. An extreme example, to prove my point, Adolf...
Adolf Hitler Cambell and his parents that state "They're just names, you know, yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that." That's reassuring coming from a man who named his other children JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Green with Envy

I am "greener" than you (Period). Here is my point
The last thing I ctrl+f was "grey."
So now your probably saying, "Wow, another eco-freak hipster trying to tell us why he is better than us and how we should all be more like him to stop global warming."

 Global warming is not caused by man, that's my stance, I have SCIENCE to back it up, and yes I will happily argue with you for hours about why everything you have been told is skewed of just flat out absurd. I sway conservative although ultimately my alliances are not determined by party affiliation but rather by individual issues. examples: Gay people should have the right to marry, the right to join the military, the right to, well, do whatever the hell straight people are legally aloud to do (confident that's a primarily liberal p.o.v.). I am against expanding welfare programs, and against (most parts of) the health-care plan a.k.a. Obama-care or (the laughable) Health SCARE Plan.

So then why is my carbon footprint about 1/7th that of the average American?

Monday, January 24, 2011


Identifiers are something we ignore quite regularly yet live with and use everyday multiple times. Most times identifiers are just simple and harmless, sometimes they are mean and hateful. Overall they serve the simple purpose of establishing or indicating who or what (someone or something) is. So why have i decided to ramble on about this chunk of language? Because identifiers are under attack, in fact it seems that anything that would separate an individual from the masses is under attack. I may sound like an angsty teenager when I say this, but society seems to want to make us all copies. 
Think I'm going to go buy some Swedish furniture and a nice pair of khakis.
Identifiers come in a variety of forms, the most obvious of which is our names. If a friend of yours comes up to you and says "have you seen Sam today," you mind is instantly able to narrow the list of people this could be, most likely do to unspecified clues you will instantly be able to astablish exactly which individual your friend is asking about. These unspoken clues are simple and minimize the need for identifiers, example: you are at work and you work with a person named Sam, your friend is good friends with Sam so your assumption would be that co-worker Sam is whom the question is about. So with one identifier we easily narrowed down the list of possible individuals from everyone to everyone named Sam, with some simple contextual clues we were able to establish that the Sam in question was your co-worker. 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Lessons from The Sandlot

The Sandlot is one a movie that defined youth for many kids is the early 90's. Well the movie feels wholesome and sweet, with a simple kid oriented message. However if you watch the movie closely their are some underlying messages that might not be the best life lessons for young kids.

Everyman deserves a room full of trophies
Bill or umm... dad, has a room solely for his trophies, the overall feeling is that no one else is allowed in this room. Mind you their seems to be no purpose for this room other then for dad or umm...Bill to escape into his past. Mr. Myrtle also has a room full of trophies and baseball memorabilia, even though he is blind and this room was obviously set up post blindness. It's not really a bad message for a kid but it sure is going to set them up for disappointment later in life when the spare rooms becomes a guest room for his in laws, and his trophies are stuck in a molding box underneath the Christmas decorations.
I have a secret closest inside our closest...don't tell B!
No one has parents or responsibilities.
Now I am not suggesting that children should be slaves for their parents, but these kids never have parental guidance. Smalls is the only person in the entire movie who we are even sure has parents, the rest of these kids probably just sleep in the clubhouse every night. You know that random tree house on what I assume is public property overlooking peoples houses. From the actions/decorations of the clubhouse we know that the sandlot boys "own" the place, but when was it built and by who and who thought it was OK and reasonable to build a tree house in the middle of a decaying baseball field? We never hear of any repercussions for any of the kids after the chewing tobacco incident or the pool incident. They just keep playing baseball at 8am, until dark. These kids apparently don't eat, don't do chores, don't have doctors appointments, don't go on vacation, don't have any mandatory family events to attend.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Phone Sex

People watching is a great hobby, mainly because it's free and you get to make fun on large amounts of stranger in your own head, but lately people watching has become kind of repetitive, basically every group of people you see is walking around each individual buried in their own little cell phone universe. Groups of people whom one assumes got together to enjoy each others company, ignoring those around them in favor of online blogs and txting with friends, probably the girl at the checkout who is ignoring me while staring mindlessly into her bedazzled curve (apparently people still do that).
This is a picture from Christmas 2005. Their are 9 people ages 18-20 in this picture, not one of which is on a cell phone. Try to find that today, honestly I guarantee it is impossible. Think of that, just five years, I assume most of these people owned a cell phone, hell if they didn't that just further alienates 2005 from today. I have 49 photos posted of this gathering, not one photo is their a cell phone shown. I personally didn't believe it either, I was looking for a picture I took of two cell phones "humping" and I came across these.


Throwback Thursday


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Who R U?

Everybody wants to be famous, this is a simple fact, if it wasn't than no one would consider having a Facebook profile (more on that later in the week). So the next question becomes how does one go about becoming famous. Their use to be a time when this took talent, or at least good looks backed up by semi-talent, but no longer are the constrains of effort and skill confining those who want to be house hold names.
It saddens me to think how many people can't name the girl on the left, and saddens me more how many idolize the one on the right.
No longer must one spend years perfecting an art or working their way from advertisements to stardom. Today their are many ways to get famous, most of which involve nothing more then making what in most people lives would be horrible mistakes.

Let's all get pregnant

I don't care what any "expert" says, Teen Mom glamorizes pregnancy. I know this because B! watches teen mom religiously, which means that I get to watch Teen Mom Too! I am going to completely ignore the extra-curricular press the girls receive, i.e. magazine covers, t.v. interviews and the like, I will just focus on how the SHOW glamorizes teen pregnancy. I will pick on everybody's favorite from the show, Maci. Aside from the obvious glamorization of the entire female population being able to spot you from across Qualcomm stadium, the show itself makes some things seem rather simple for Maci as she raises Bentley (see I even know his name), my first pet peeve is that she is constantly lounging around doing nothing. Now I am not saying that every mom doesn't deserve a break from to time, but does Maci do anything besides sit at home waiting for a group of awkward friends to show up?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais hosting of the Golden Globes last night has cause a lot of controversy. Apparently saying anything negative about celebrities was so "totally unacceptable" according to Philip Berk the current head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Gervais has been portrayed across the nation as a mean spirited comedian making low blow jokes to get a few laughs.

Now I am not going to discuss the politics of statements from Berk like "for sure any movie he makes he can forget about getting nominated," that to me just screams that the Golden Globes are simple a politically motivated spectacle in which performance and originality are simply trampled upon by who you know and how much you can pay. 

What I am going to talk about is Comedy, or at least my take on comedy. Many people assume that comedians are the life of the party and always happy and fun loving. I would have to argue that this can not be the case, I am not saying comedians are sad and lonely, but rather comedians look at the world with very...well, fuck-upped eyes, think of any good joke...seriously, whether heard on a comedy show, in a club or just over the water cooler. Notice anything? Almost every joke is based in having a negative perspective of the situation. Comedians see the world for the messed up place it really is. And all jokes are based on pointing out this screwiness to their audience.

So back to Gervais, he may have made some mean-spirited jokes, I am sure even he wouldn't dispute that, but they were made in a humorous environment. He was picking fun at the audience, at the main characters of the evening, the over reaction by certain personalities has shown not only how cowardly and spoiled many of these"stars" have become, but also how a man known for making "negative" observations about society in general was expected to change himself, and his thinking in order to appease a mass of egotistical persons. Gervais was just being himself and should he apologize I will instantly lose respect for him, because in doing so he is apologizing for doing what he does, and being who he is.


Sunday, January 16, 2011

Cats and Dogs

Their is no elaborate back story to why this topic came into my mind, but none-the-less the article must go on.

Humans have lived with animal counterparts for almost, well, the entire history of humanity. In this time a lot of animals have become domesticated to the point they no longer resemble their feral ancestors. But only two animals managed to bridge the gap from work animals to companions, cats and dogs.
Horses don't count, you don't ride you're friends, that is unless your a furry.
Ever since, the question has loomed over humanities head, "are you a cat or dog person?" I have personally never understood why you can't be both, as I have always owned both and like both. Both have their definite pluses and minuses.

We will proceed in alphabetical order:

Cats are nice peaceful creatures, they keep to themselves most of the time and come around just enough to make you feel wanted, unless of course your cat is crazy and uses your face as a cat tree.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Super Powers

"If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?"

This question has been posed to millions of people billions of times, in a quick count I think I have answered this question to around 95 different people throughout my life.

~Even Dane Cook got in on the power of this question suggesting he would shot spaghetti out of his fingers. Obviously Mr. Cook does not understand the severity of this query, or that he could feed millions of starving children with his manipulation of complex carbs.~
I'm not sure if the meatballs are cheeks or boobs.
I have answered this question with a few answers, the most popular being, flying, invisibility,super strength and of course the ability to have indestructible claws. The answers differed over time based on how I was feeling at the time, indestructible claws probably meant I was at least mildly perturbed, or what came to mind the quickest. Because of this I felt I needed to do a better analysis of the pros and cons of a variety of super powers to determine the best overall power for me.

The question posed makes it clear that you get ONE power, not a slew like the afore-articled, Superman. So from that limitation, let us begin.

I have always been a fan of Spider-Man, because it was easy for me to fantasize about being bitten by a spider and then kicking everybody's ass. But Peter Parker's main power, the ability to scale the sides of buildings, is kind of useless in the overall scheme of powers, Obviously this power is instantly one-upped by the ability to fly.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Grand Theft Auto

What is their to say, these dyno's are just getting a little out of control.
First of the experimental GTA series.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Why No One likes Superman

Superman is the lamest of all the comic book characters, at least all the ones any non fan-boy can name. I am not an expert on superman and his abilities, weaknesses or even basic story line about his life, but I do know why I dislike him as a comic book hero. As what seems like the only way I know how to present points lately I now list my reasons that no one likes superman.

#5 What with all the powers
Most superheros posses one, or at least a limited, power, but not Superman no he can basically do everything. If I am not mistaken he can exploit his power to TIME TRAVEL. That's just a giant plot hole to me because if he can do that then shit he might as well always do that. Seriously sit at home let shit hit the fan and then go do a couple laps and boom it's all fixed. But other then that he can also lift anything, fly anywhere, see through everything and hear what ever he damn well pleases. I am 100% confused as to how, with all of these powers, he even lets bad things happen for him to stop. Seems more like he is just waiting to show off for all the girls.
This man is super nice, stood with him in line for the Hans Zimmer batman soundtrack signing.
#4 The weakness is ridiculously specific
Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. That's it, an extremely rare crystal, so unless you have said crystal theirs really no reason to fuck with this guy, and that's where it gets great, because although it's uber-rare every bad guy seems to be easily able to obtain said crystal. But it doesn't matter because no one to my knowledge ever seems to just use the moment of vulnerability to just chop the weakening he-mans head off. But of course not, because then we wouldn't have a pop culture icon who...

#3 Is a giant pile of deusch.
Well ignore the obvious flaws with that statement. But superman is a prick, straight up grade A meat head jock prick. Their not much more to say about this point but I do feel their is some evidence for this.
Pictured above: Giant Pile O'Deusch (He is totally Irish)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

5 Reasons it is Easy for Celebrities to Lose Weight

Everyday we are bombarded with commercials or pointless segments regarding some celebrity losing a significant amount of weight. The media congratulates these personalities and the whole world takes notice of their new body. Then the celebrity uses their re-found fame to encourage the rest of us in a "if I can do it so can you," kind of way. They advertise the products that helped them get this new body, or regain a former body they once had. While the rest of the world looks on this transformation with envious eyes I sit back and get rather cynical. Here are my top 5 reasons why it's easy for celebrities to lose weight, yet a bitch for everyone else.

5. They have time
Think about it, most stars who lose weight have a fairly flexible schedule, and by this I of course mean they work maybe 20 minutes a day, and by work I mean answer some questions on the radio. Of course, the average person needs to work going to the gym ONCE a day into their already packed schedule. Most celebrities who lose a significant amount of weight claim at least two gym sessions a day, and in some cases three. Time is also crucial in what a person gets to eat, the more time you have the more options you have in your food intake. If you need to grab lunch between meetings, then Wendy's it is, if you have 3 hours for lunch you can swing by a restaurant and get a nice grilled chicken salad. Being able to eat healthy is also assisted by the fact that...
Get famous, get money, get time, get thin...the Hollywood weight loss secret.

4. They have money
I feel confident that no one will disagree when I say that celebrities have more money then the average American. Having more money means you can eat healthier, plan and simple. Yes their are inexpensive healthy options available, but if you have no budget you can essentially get healthy prepared foods for every meal. They can also afford to build gyms in their houses, not a weight bench and a treadmill, no an entire gym, probably better equipped then your local "judgment free zone"

Monday, January 10, 2011

Facts of Life

This is kind of old so some of the facts might no longer be true but that's not the point. Shits funny and you'll be a smarter and thus better member of society based solely on the viewing of this video.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Why 3D EVERYTHING is just another fad...

The other day one of the supporters for 3D's continuing evolution in modern entertainment stated that, when sound was first introduced to films their was similar skepticism by the people of the time, and the same with adding color to television. So 3D is supposed to change the way we view everything from films to television. Even computers, games and phones are getting in on the action. I may be jumping on the hater-wagon for this one but I adamantly believe this is a fad and that most people are already over this entire craze.
I'm guessing by the looks of it these men are at a 3D porno theater.
Wearing glasses is stupid!We all know this, few people will put up with sitting around wearing bug goggles just to watch their own TV at home. While many will put up with the gimmick at theaters, the idea of wearing glasses while watching football at home makes no sense. Most people who watch sports also are engaged in conversations with friends and family, or participating in other activities all of which would make wearing the glasses not only look stupid but also would just rip your eyes to pieces as you constantly switched from the TV to the real world.
It probably doesn't help that 3D viewing may be down right bad for you, How Dangerous is 3D, really?

But lets pretend someone gets the genius idea to ditch the glasses (Toshiba is already doing this) and we can just manage to watch 3D with our bare eyes...

Saturday, January 8, 2011

What Should I Scream for this is my Theme Park...

I have decided to make a slew of aesthetic changes to the site. Most are very obvious, like changing the color scheme and the placement of the twitter feed.

Some other changes are a general doing away with the Song of the Day, to be completely honest it was never very popular and eventually just turned into a pointless daily effort on my end. If you haven't noticed the site has turned from what was best described as a "storage unit for my Internet adventures" and has slowly turned into a mostly daily article, which was the intent from the beginning.

I will not promise to write a new article daily because that's something I can't assure will happen, but I will post SOMETHING everyday, whether it's an article, a list of facts/ponderings or just a BadDyno or GSB comic.

On the note of comics I plan to add a new series, and I am having serious issues producing a good GSB comic weekly, the concept has seemed to just fade quickly, I will continue to attempt with them but Expect a new series starting soon, BadDyno will continue as it has, with at minimum a weekly addition.

The Facebook "Like" button and Tweet Button will be included in all articles from this day forward. If I post from my phone, the links won't be available until I update the blogs.
Please click one or both if you find my ramblings entertaining, you are my only advertising, so if you like it tell everyone you can, it's simply clicking a button, and my undying love for you is totally worth it.
Please tell your friends about us, we are lonely! btw that clock really is at my work.

Anyways, that's pretty much all for the updates and changes, I think I am happy with how things are, but we all know I change my mind frequently.

For now I get to sleep soundly knowing my twitter account has been subpoenaed by the U.S. government!!!


...Not going to put a like button or a tweet button because well this is just a business post so no reason for such shenanigans

Did You Know?

Here are some random facts I found about America recently. Don't ask how one stumbles upon a cache of trivia like this, just read it and enjoy the learning.
  • Alabama honored an insect pest with a statue because it forced farmers to switch from cotton to more profitable crops: Boll Weevil Monument in Enterprise. 
This really Exist, knowing this alone make your life better for reading STMTZ.
  • The highest and lowest points in the contiguous United States are both in California: Mount Whitney and Death Valley.
  • The Famous song "America the Beautiful" was inspired by the view from Pikes Peak, Colorado. 
  • Most people have heard about California's gold rush, but the first U.S. gold rush was near the town of Dahlonega, Georgia in the late 1820's.
  • Artic bearberries grow next to prickly pear cacti and northern jack pines grow next to southern dogwood at Indiana Dunes National Lakeshore.
  • Kentucky is home to the longest known cave system in the world, Mammoth Cave approx. 350miles. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Thursday, January 6, 2011

5 reasons NOT to vote for "Joe Everybody" for president

esterday I caught a segment on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The segment was about John McCain, and part of the skit chided him for his owning 10 houses. This fact was used to show that McCain was out of touch with the average American. All politics aside my thoughts on the issue are that I don't see any merits in having a leader who is similar to the guy picking his nose in the grocery store or that fucker who just cut you off on the highway. 
These are my top five reasons why NOT to elect a "Joe Everybody" as president. We start with...

#5 Everybody is broke 
The Average credit card debt per household with credit card debt: $15,788
This fact points to the issue that the average American is over spending in comparison to what they make, this isn't house and car loan debt this is credit card debt. If Everybody can't manage $44,389 (median income) then can honestly be trusted with Trillions of dollars. 
I have absolutely no idea of what the overlying message of this is, but B! liked it so their you go.
I would prefer, say for example, a man who had built a successful business from meager beginnings or who took over a business that was failing and pulled it back together. which leads us to how you get to this point...

#4 Everybody doesn't make very sound decisions
From the last point we see that Everybody likes to spend money, but on what, and why. If you have ever spent any time watching people in stores, they purchase things almost without thinking, why does anyone buy one type of dryer sheets over the next. I would assume (baring allergic sensitivity) that the only noticeable difference would be smell and then price. So under this equation the cheapest brand should be the one most often purchased. Again from personal experience I can assure you this is not the case and that name brands beat out the generic brands on every item available.
This graph is a P.C. way of saying "buying name brand shit is a waste of fucking money you dumb asshole."
 So I would prefer a leader who researches his options before making a decision.
Well this seems to be contradictory...

#3 Everybody is very indecisive
People cannot make up their own minds. What my proof? Sales people and the entire concept of "the art of selling." If people were decisive then it would be impossible to sell them anything above and beyond what that deemed (by doing the research suggested in #4) absolutely necessary.

Ace of Base - Don't Turn Around

Throwback Thursday

B! is mad because I told her songs for throwback Thursday must be at least 15yrs old, 1996 and prior, she thinks this is unfair. I think it's been a rule all along but she's been breaking it.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Is it OK?

So today I was in Wal-Mart (WHAT me in wal-mart? Yes, I was doing research, someday you may find out if that is true or not but that's another article completely) and I saw a little kid eating some fruit snacks, which for further clarification were yet to be purchased, this is seen as a perfectly normal and acceptable practice and it got me wondering...

Where is the "line" in what you can do with items you intend to buy at a store?

Is it OK to go get some toilet paper and use it if you are adverse to using the cheap paper stock in the restrooms at a store?

Is it OK to use silverware at the store to eat food items from the store?

Is it OK to open a CD and put it in your player and listen to it whilst wondering the aisles? (yes I am aware no one uses portable CD players, which of course begs the question of why anyone still bothers paying for music, kind of a stupid thing to do if you ask me.)


You wouldn't steal a car. Umm...yes I would, if it took simply clicking a button yes I would most certainly steal a car, in fact I would steal shit loads of cars, I would have cars I didn't even want just for the sake of knowing that if I wanted for some reason to drive a 1984 Ford Fiesta, that would be possible.

You wouldn't steal a handbag. First off before we get into this, your target audience for these (cough*propaganda*cough) commercials, teenagers, do not use the term "handbag," so your aging yourself with this one. Secondly if by stealing a handbag I knew that no one was being adversely affected and that it was in fact just a clone of another handbag and therefore the only outcome was a net-gain for the entire community, (i.e. I get the handbag and no one loses handbag means +1 for the entire equation) I would steal handbags, probably jsut for the joy of seeing what kind of embarrassing shit I could find in said handbags.

You wouldn't steal a movie. Well if that were the case then, You wouldn't make ads trying to convince me of my own morality. And on that point, is this ad only trying to get the people who wouldn't steal shit from not stealing shit, are they just accepting defeat with the "real world" criminals?

...and what's with the girl, she just had a change of conscience randomly while downloading the movie? and sorry if downloading a movie is stealing, and in the real world if you steal but then return the item you will still get arrested, assuming charges are pressed, then isn't she still technically a criminal and thus shouldn't she have just downloaded the entire thing and at least got something for her criminal activity?
End Tangent
I bet you have lost track of what this entire article was about. It's ok so did I...back to the list

Is it OK to open batteries and put them in a flashlight if the power goes out? and in this situation are you still obligated to purchase the batteries and flashlight?

Is it OK to take a camera out and use it to take pictures of your friends and whatnot, and because it's technically a store owned product does it thus circumvent the policy of no photography?

I would think "No bombs" would go without saying. STMTZ
If you are tired is it OK to take a nap using the blankets and pillows available?
and if mattresses are avaliable for purchase is it OK to sleep on them in the store?

Is it OK to use makeup products?

Is it OK to use hair styling products? (like gel to spike your hair)

Is it OK to wear the cloths? (I know people do this with shoes, so I am not sure why the same courtesy would not be extended to pants, say in a situation where you ripped your pants and needed new ones)

Is it OK to use store cleaning products to clean up if your kid makes a mess? and, again, are you still obligated to purchase the materials?

Is it OK to use a phone charger in the stores outlets? (if you already own it, or if you plan on purchasing a new one)

...I think I will make this an ongoing topic...I have run out of ideas for tonight...but seriously just think about it, or better yet just try it and see what happens!


Wish my voicemails were this entertaining!


Tuesday, January 4, 2011


If you have even skimmed through the channels on your television and passed FX you have almost certainly seen ads for the upcoming season 2 of Archer, premiering January 27th at 10pm.

(If you don't know what Archer is well I'm sorry but here is what WikiPedia has to say about it: Archer is an animated comedy series created by Adam Reed for the FX network. Set at the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS), suave master spy Sterling Archer deals with global espionage; a domineering, hypersexual, late middle-aged mother/boss, Malory Archer; his ex-girlfriend, Agent Lana Kane; her ISIS accountant boyfriend Cyril Figgis; and a less-than-masculine code name—"Duchess.")

I had never heard of Archer until after season one was well over with. Some friends told me about it and it sounded interesting so when I found it on Netflix instant stream, well it was a match made in heaven. I sat in my trusty movie watching chair and breezed through the entire season in two days, I wish that was an exaggeration, cause it kinda sounds like I have no life. Well, anyways, the show is awesome and somehow managed not to get canceled even though the numbers sucked, and because the numbers are based on statistical mathematics from Nelson family data, you and me watching it won't change those numbers (unless your a Nelsom family of course), so all we can do is hope that some people we don't know watch the programs we like so that we can get more. Anyways season one is on Netflix streaming and Season 2 starts in January, so watch it if you want to see some hella-good television.

ciao ciao


yes I re-published this article because the show will be back on in 3 weeks, and I felt everyone should be super siked!

Bank Robbery

Yes Coews do work at WaMoo...Duh! STMTZ (and yes it is spelled Coews)  
How Bad Dyno's finance their life style's.



So YouTube banned the video, and for some reason blogger won't let my upload the video so for now Taproot Smile videos is in the STMTZ Dump so you can see it at

See I wouldn't Lie to you guys, a promise is a promise!



Monday, January 3, 2011


"SMILE DAMNIT!"-Super Smile Man
This was just some random creation of mine because B! was refusing to smile. Yes that Super Smile Man flying in to save the day with laughs and smile stuff.

No, No!

Manic Monday!!!

...this one is from Paul


Sunday, January 2, 2011

Pickles and Chips

The best band in the GSB land, Pickles and Chips. STMTZ

No one need's drummers or guitarists, just some killer vocals and a sweet bass line.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

What's in a Name

Lately their's been a lot of chatter about Ke$ha and her moronically devised spelling of her name, and more so about her reaction to how everyone was saying it wrong. At least people were talking about you, maybe you should spend your time pondering why anyone cares.
I believe the proper phonetic pronunciation is: key-muhn-ee-sahyn-hah.
This all got me thinking, about pop-music names in general. We have two categories, we have the stage name people like, Lady Gaga, Prince and the least logical Pink. The othe side being your Britney Spears, Katy Perry (does changing a last name count as stage name) and Cristina Aguilera , this makes sense to me, use your birth name and go from there, from this second group we have the offshoot, single name stars like the aforementioned Kesha (I refuse to use a money sign as a letter), and of course Madonna, you know the whore, the complete anti-Madonna in terms of the virgin mother.
So this begs the question, why are their the two paths, of which Miley Montana (sounds way better then Hannah Cyrus) decided to take both. Proving that in fact you can have your cake and eat it too.
This concept confuses me to no end, Did the whole country really accept this transformation?
So why are their the two paths, if you think about it the artists really personify their names through their actions in their role, most of the real name starlets take on the role of being innocent and "the girl next door," whereas the stage name performers take on more of a character role.

I don't really know what my point was in this entire article. Mainly that Kesha is fucking strange, Lady Gaga creeps me out, and that if celebrities had different names a lot would change Katy Hudson doesn't ring as well and has the obvious link to Kate Hudson, Justin Bieber's fans wouldn't like their symptoms very much if he was Justin Freya.

I have nothing more to say