Friday, December 30, 2011

Most Read of 2011

I have found making lists to be increasingly simple, and the conclusion of the year is a perfect time to exploit this lazy writing format. Soon it will be 2012, so here is another list, the most read articles on STMTZ from 2011.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

5+ Reasons I Don't Go To The Movies

I have gone to a movie theater one time in the last two years, and the only reason I went that time was because my ticket was free. I am not some anomalous person who doesn't like movies, in fact in that same time frame I have watched hundreds of films, just not in Theaters. Due to this I get many quixotic looks as to why I have voluntarily avoided the movie theater for such an extended period, and why I have absolutely no intentions of returning to the theaters in the foreseeable future. So instead of repeating myself again and again, I am just going to lay out my grievances here on the internet, where they will remain for eternity.

#5 Food
I love food, I love good food though, and I have yet to find a theater that provides this. I love sitting down at home with a big plate of pasta or some slices from a local pizza joint and watching a movie. It's hard for me to want to go out to a place that demands the amount comparable to a nice sit down dinner, for a bucket of cheap popcorn and a box of sour patch kids. And if I do want sour patch kids and popcorn, I can buy them too! I love eating a big meal and watching a movie while I wash it all down with a nice stiff drink, and that the theater can not duplicate, speaking of...
Yumm! Nothing like a $10 bowl of butter and exploding corn.

#4 Comfort
I hate wearing jeans, in fact I practically hate wearing anything that isn't my pajama pants, and while I have been known to venture out of the house dressed more for bed than a night on the town, it still doesn't feel the same when I have to sit in an upright position. God invent couches for laying on while you watch movies, this much we know as fact. He also invent bathrooms to be used for, well bathroom things.
When this becomes standard seating at the theater I might come back...might...

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Christmas Tree, Perry Square, Erie, Pa.
Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope that you all have a wonderful day! Get all the things you asked Santa for, and all the reactions you expect for the gifts you got those you love. And please don't spend too much time on the internet, for this one day! Focus on those you are with, unless you can't be with those you want and have to Skype it in like I did last Christmas. And for anyone having to work on the holiday, like myself, we appreciate your sacrifice. I for one will not be visiting any businesses tomorrow, and I hope you all do the same, and maybe places can be closed 1 day a year again.

Done preaching! Have a great Christmas and enjoy your friend, family, presents and of course FOOD!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Top Ten Photos of 2011

'Tis the season when every writer apparently runs out of things to say and, in a bid to stay relevant, conjures up an array of top ten lists about the previous and/or forth coming year. So, as one who does not believe in upending the status quo I have created my own top ten, and in doing so realized how much easier it is to make a top list than to actually create an article.

Many of you have joined me on my travels, and some of you have been with me since before I even set off or hell even made plans to go on the road. I love all of you equally and my Christmas present for you is my top ten photos taken on my Droid 2. They are presented in the order they were taken as I apparently don't believe in hierarchical systems.

Big Lake, William B. Umstead State Park, Raleigh, NC. 
 As some of you may well know I called Raleigh, NC home for most of 2011, William B. Umstead State Park was my sanctuary. I managed to walked every foot of every marked trail in the park, as well as miles of game trails. Big Lake was one of my favorite spots to just sit and watch the planes take off from RDU, which is located just behind the lake.

WMATA subway tunnel, Washington D.C.
 While I wrote about most of my trip across America, I left out one of my favorite legs, a drive from Raleigh, NC back to my hometown of Erie, Pa on my motorcycle. I stopped and visited my friend Michael Hong while I was in the Nations Capital and in the two days I was their managed to have one of the best experiences of my life. Washington D.C. was an awesome city, and I plan on returning soon to visit the Smithsonian Museums, which due to time constraints I was unable to see on this occasion.

Delicate Arch, Arches National Park, Utah.
 Arches National Park is one of the most beautiful places in America, while it is out of the way for most people, I would suggest that anyone who loves beautiful landscapes and amazing geological formations make it a point to visit the park in their lifetime.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Travel Logged

If you have stopped by anytime in the past couple months than you are well aware of my latest travel adventure. Every time I tell anyone a story from my travels they inevitable comment on how much they would love to be able to travel extensively. It seems to be everyone's wish to be able to travel freely. So as someone who has spent much of my adult life on the road I would like to inform you of how unglamorous excessive travel can be.

5. Food
One of the first thing everyone thinks about when they think of traveling is the food. From ethnic cuisine in Europe to regional dishes in the States, food is a main focal point of most peoples travels, to eat like the locals and experience meals that one will most likely never get a chance to indulge in again.
Dinner is served.
It would be a lie for me to tell you that I haven't experienced some of the most amazing food during my travels. From caprese in Italy to the delicious Hispanic dishes of the American south west, the foods I have enjoyed during my travels are some of my greatest memories of the places I have visited. There is a reason, however, to why these experiences stick out in my travels, because they are so rare. I would argue that on the latest trip across America, 75% of the food consumed came in a wrapper or passed through a window before being consumed. Even on my trips to Europe much of the food I consumed was done so more out of necessity rather than for cultural experience. Airports, bus stations and the inside of the car become your dining room, as you grab the quickest cheapest thing to quell your hunger.

When you do get the joy of stopping and eating the local cuisine, your stomach is likely to find issue with the plethora of unknown entities flowing into it. On more than one occasion I got the joyous experience of getting to enjoy my meal a second time while wrapped around a toilet. But it's not always a rush that causes one to need to grab crappy food...

4. So Bored
Sitting on a beach, bathing in the sun's warm rays as the waves gently caress your feet. An image that instantly enters peoples minds when they think of traveling to exotic locations, advertisements for Sandals Resorts use this imagery to sell people of traveling to some island in hopes of removing all the money from their pockets. It's the image, pinned up in cubicles around the world, of paradise.

Friday, December 9, 2011


Last year at this time I wrote the article "2011." That article was full of predictions for the upcoming year, a year that is now coming to a nice tidy conclusion in the coming weeks. The articles predictions were about as accurate as any prediction of the future, and verified my lifelong assumption that I do not possess psychic powers. In fact not only did my sweeping generalizations of what would happen to the world not come true, but my preconceptions of my own 2011 distinctly missed the target, leading me to be writing this from a cold basement somewhere within a stones throw of the Arctic Circle, or possibly just somewhere in Pennsylvania, whats the difference anyways.

So I have decided that, due to my unquestioned success from last year, it is my duty to inform you and, subsequently, all of humanity of my vision of how things will pan out in 2012. So without further ado....

STMTZ's 2012 Predictions and Likelihoods Certainhoods.

The year of 2012 will be a tumultuous year, as the United States (the only country that really matters anyways) continues to attempt to dig itself out of a finical crisis that has left scores of millionaires questioning how they will afford a new summer home after a rogue group of Occupy Wall Streeter's decided to take their tents to the Hamptons, where an unattended campfire starts a hedge fire that quickly engulfs the seaside resort which has suffered greatly at the hands of the multi-year economic disaster.
The means YOU! Hippies!

In Europe (the only other landmass Americans can reliably find on a map aside from their own country) the powers that be come to a resolution, which as expected sends stocks soaring around the globe. Just as sighs of relief are heard from Malibu to Lake Como, another European country announces that it somehow lost a staggering sum of money, sending stocks plummeting back into the Mariana Trench, but not before those with the means and knowledge had time to short all the stock options, assuring another year of positive growth for the Ferrari and Lamborghini corporations of rural Italy.
You can ad this to the STMTZ wishlist!
After five minutes everyone will stop caring about the events of those funny talking fellows on the other side of the blue blob and the attention will return, rightfully, to the United States where, in a surprise move, the citizens stage a write-in campaigns electing to have a Golden Retriever, named Apollo, from New Brunswick, to be the GOP candidate to go up against President Obama, in spite of the plethora of qualified candidates hand selected for them by News Corp.