My parents have always been supportive, if I decided to run off on a new career path my mom was always there with a tin of chocolate covered pretzels and a smile that in hindsight read more like, "Awe my son is going to add another failed endeavor to his list, what did I do to not deserve a son who grew up to be rich and buy me a house," rather than the reading at the time, "Oh, you're going to be great at (fill in random soon-to-be failure)." But I have to say, the chocolate pretzels taste the same in both scenarios, so I am chalking this one up as a win.
|I was going to be an astronaut till someone told me the sky was the limit, "screw that"' Said 8-year old me.|
Throughout my moves around the country I constantly downsized, storing more and more stuff with my parents. The other day I was searching for some camera equipment and had a nice flash back. My stuff consisted of scuba gear, bike equipment, a couple bass guitars, a slew of computer parts, boxes of football cards, hot wheels, beanie babies and the camera stuff I had been searching for. It was like walking through a grave yard of my dreams, from professional athlete to rock star, small business owner to computer geek. Do you know what it's like to have all your failures thrown in your face? I hope not, sincerely, because it sucked.
|See I was in a rock band! On paper...literally!|
That deep seeded belief in my own awesomeness, where does that stem from? Clearly not reality, clearly not any reward for years of successful conquests, my childhood is a battlefield of wasted time and half-assed attempts at anything my silly brain could come up with.
You know what else? I have no creativity, none! I could have never been a rock star, rock stars moms didn't make them cookies for band practice, they threw empty beer bottles at them and told them they would be nothing! I have no obstacles to overcome, so I successfully became someone who runs away from walls of resistance, unless my mom is with me, because that woman gets shit done!
Landlord is being a jerk: Call mom
Taxes don't make sense: Call mom
The guy in apartment 406 is a bully: Call mom
Cops arrested you for soliciting a prostitute: Don't call your mom, she is already disappointed in you!
|"...but mom, she said she thought I was funny!"|
|Yeah, you went home with him, but I forgave you...because I have no spine.|
|Hey it's me walking into the wilderness, by the way this ends with me hanging off a cliff 500 feet off the ground, tearing up, like a bitch. but that's a story for another day.|